var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push([‘_setAccount’, ‘UA-20623548-1’]); _gaq.push([‘_trackPageview’]); (function() { var ga = document.createElement(‘script’); ga.type = ‘text/javascript’; ga.async = true; ga.src = (‘https:’ == document.location.protocol ? ‘https://ssl’ : ‘http://www’) + ‘.google-analytics.com/ga.js’; var s = document.getElementsByTagName(‘script’)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); Hi, I’m Rob. Ask me stuff (here) and here’s my facebook (fb) and my last.fm (here)Tumblr (3.0; @dreamunicorn)http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/<p>I&#8217;m looking forward to tax time because tax time means new graphics cards and new tattoos. Do I need a new graphics card? Probably not I guess but I&#8217;m just too in love with running everything on ultra settings that I don&#8217;t ever want to go back</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24203339745http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24203339745Sat, 02 Jun 2012 03:45:00 +1000<p>I had a climax</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24200005224http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24200005224Sat, 02 Jun 2012 02:31:47 +1000<iframe src="http://blip.tv/play/hsJ1gvSbQAA.html?p=1" width="400" height="238" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sass-burger.tumblr.com/post/24127375688">sass-burger</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://oldjewstellingjokes.com/post/24060523437">oldjewstellingjokes</a>:</p> <blockquote> <h2>Sheila Danzig, “My Son”</h2> <p><img height="281" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7215/6967066930_9569f1a0eb.jpg" width="500"/></p> </blockquote> <p>all of these are so good X’)</p> </blockquote> <p>Sheila Danzig, who I can only assume is the mother of Glenn because Danzig, tells a joke.</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24164844505http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24164844505Fri, 01 Jun 2012 10:56:27 +1000<p>Receiving anon ask box messages is great even though because they&#8217;re anonymous I don&#8217;t know if they want me to post it publicly. Sometimes and definitely not often enough they&#8217;re sexy. This one wasn&#8217;t sexy but it did contain the phrase &#8220;I did the Smitty job&#8221; and I choked on my beer I laughed so hard. It was a tip off to one of the greatest movie synopsis&#8217; ever. I&#8217;ll post it when I can pull myself together</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24160268795http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24160268795Fri, 01 Jun 2012 09:58:09 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4wfw2r5ZI1qbbu2lo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>Quigley. </p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24160357142http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24160357142Fri, 01 Jun 2012 09:52:31 +1000holy fucking shit<p>Years ago I worked at a place which had a courtyard that faced onto a very busy walkway in the center of town. On the walkway right in front of our courtyard was a huge tree. It dropped leaves almost all year round, so much so that every hour at work someone would have to go out and furiously sweep the giant piles away.</p> <p>One late night after we had closed as I was finishing up the boss came over looking very serious and handed me a balaclava. He only said <br/> &#8221;Put it on and come with me&#8221;<br/>I had no idea what to make of it, maybe we were robbing a convenience store for their candy bounty? So I put it on and we walked out the front. My boss was also wearing a balaclava and carrying a large power drill and an unlabelled white bottle. He told me <br/> &#8221;I need you to be a lookout, keep your eyes peeled. I mean it&#8221;<br/>Which is when I knew we were up to crimes. I took up a strategic lookout spot forgetting that my attempt to look inconspicuous was entirely ruined by the fact that I looked like a cartoon criminal. I was only missing a stripey tshirt and a bag with a dollar sign on it. My boss took the drill and made a wide, deep and extremely loud hole into the leaf dropping tree at an angle. He then took the bottle which turned out to be filled with some sort of poison and poured it into the gaping wound.</p> <p>After that he looked at it and asked me if we should attempt to cover up the hole, I told him that instead we should go get beers because the bar down the road closed in an hour. He agreed and the next day the tree dropped every leaf it had which meant only one giant sweep. The week after the council circulated a memo to all surrounding businesses about the murder. I&#8217;ll never forget the memo because it described the two of us being seen and detailed him as a short, muscular man who was the leader. Then it described me like this: male or female accomplice.</p> <p>The end.</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24132351921http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24132351921Fri, 01 Jun 2012 01:59:00 +1000<p>The affectionate girl at work is just so affectionate. It&#8217;s like she&#8217;s playing chicken with you</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24130882167http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24130882167Fri, 01 Jun 2012 01:20:32 +1000<p>I feel like these white suspenders are making these cocktails I&#8217;m inventing on the spot taste a little bit classier</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24124359300http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/24124359300Thu, 31 May 2012 21:34:20 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4sbttMvw01r4x90jo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sillyfox.net/post/23994297175/4-lyf">wordsbeforebirds</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>4 LYF</p> </blockquote> <p>fuck yes Baldur’s Gate 2</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23994363461http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23994363461Tue, 29 May 2012 22:56:27 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4sbwj0Ok01qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>sentry guards my pizza</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23994339728http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23994339728Tue, 29 May 2012 22:55:31 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4s5o9WACw1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>you’re ruining my night blizzard</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23991016772http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23991016772Tue, 29 May 2012 20:40:57 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4ryn0Iof21qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>UNF</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23987745147http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23987745147Tue, 29 May 2012 18:09:00 +1000lauren wk<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4rylrjcMF1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>unf</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23987727837http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23987727837Tue, 29 May 2012 18:08:15 +1000lauren wk<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4rucrC9mk1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>The question is, do I watch Smitty?</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23985302243http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23985302243Tue, 29 May 2012 16:36:27 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4rsu8R7Vd1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I was wondering why my foot hurt so much last night, turns out I bled all over my shoe</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23984221276http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23984221276Tue, 29 May 2012 16:02:34 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4rnrbQ98F1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Fitting them girl jeans.</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23979500845http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23979500845Tue, 29 May 2012 14:13:11 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4ql571I1W1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Giant cat, tiny person</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23928910966http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23928910966Tue, 29 May 2012 00:18:19 +1000<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4qjdv8GlR1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Shannan had a shot, I’m going to end up carrying her home again</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23927614292http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23927614292Mon, 28 May 2012 23:40:14 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4ppcyQ8oC1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>let’s do this</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23906064090http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23906064090Mon, 28 May 2012 12:53:22 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4osvjN8Zg1qbbu2lo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I’m the worst friend ever but I swear I’ll go see her on my day off.</p>http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23864015628http://dreamunicorn.tumblr.com/post/23864015628Mon, 28 May 2012 01:11:43 +1000photos from years ago